Mommy Dearest

You grow up all your life to respect your parents. Esecially your mother.....Mommy Dearest. When you were younger you would always obey even if you knew in your heart she was dead wrong! You grow older into the rebellious teen that would fight her tooth and nail to prove she is wrong. She was your worst enemy and you didn't care about her feelings or calling her out on her bullshit. You want freedom and excitement in your life, so you decide to move out on your own to explore the world around you. The world that she sheilded you from, the world she spent her life trying to protect you from. So you're out there on your on and for some reason you think you met the perfect guy. The true love of your life that you just had to go against her wishes and move in together. Ofcourse things start off great, but things come to a head and he leaves and you end up pregant. Your alone, naked, and vulnerable. But she comes to your rescue and brings you back in like the " Prodical Daughter ". Gives you love, food, and shelter. All the things a good mother is supposed to do for her child.

Years past and you grow into an older, more mature adult that has gained her independence in a legitimate way. You and your mom may not be the best of friends, but you tolerate each other. She still tries to tell you what to do, but now you have learned how to be respectful. This is what you do when you are grown, raising kids, and trying to stay married. You're grateful to your mother, but you still think you should make your own decisions......your own mistakes. How old do you have to be before your mom considers you an adult. I know from time to time you slip, stumble, and occasionally fall. But I thought a parent's job is to pick us up and to dust us off and kiss the boo-boos. Regardless of how you feel about their decisions, you should be happy for them when they're happy. Be that cheering section when they have made a major accomplishment in their life. Be that listening ear when they need it ad try not to be so damn critical! Mommy Dearest we need you in the worst way regardless if we're 2, 30, or 100! Mommy Dearest we need you to hold our hands, not to beat us over the back with a wire hanger!

Starting A New.....

This year has been a world wind adventure that has taken flight in the most positive way. I lost almost 170lbs of grotesque weight that I have been trying to get rid of for years! But in the mist of it all I gained the weight back in the shape of a slim, dark, mocha shake. He has been the leader, the pilot, and the provider of this all expense paid adventure he has been taking me on for the last 3 yrs. He even purchased my very 1st car last Christmas.....my 1st car @ the age of 30 yrs old! ( can you imagine that!!! )

He's been that person I can talk to when so many have turned their back and I just want to celebrate his awesome deliciousness!!!! OK, I just had a moment....I'm back. Now I'm on my way to moving into my 1st house with him and my 2 children thanks to him wanting to give me the things I never had in my marriage. But now I tell everyone that we are buying a house together and they want to know " When is the wedding? ". Why do we feel that marriage is the answer to complete happiness? This is something I felt I needed to be complete back in my twenties, but now that I'm older I think I truly believe I know what happiness is. Don't get me wrong, if he asked me I would probably not hesitate to say yes, but I want it to be natural, organic, real.

Growth is also responsible for my trip into the right direction. Surrounding myself with positivity and light, and letting nothing and no one stand in the way of my dreams. Realizing that working for others is not for me, but taking the initiative to take a serious leap on my own.

Keep your dreams up front to guide your vessel and happiness and bliss will just be around the corner........